Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
