If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Someone signed my nipple.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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