i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
