he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
