Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space

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  (703): I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space http://tfl.nu/29mq
  Replies (27) Good night (4785) Bad night (680)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  WTF??? Isn't he married??

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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  (910): He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding. (605): WTF??? Isn't he married?? (910): Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL http://tfl.nu/eb9x
  Replies (19) Good night (1108) Bad night (4398)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now

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  (337): He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now http://tfl.nu/rj5l
  Replies (23) Good night (1302) Bad night (4705)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

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  (978): i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear http://tfl.nu/0b07
  Replies (12) Good night (3675) Bad night (2308)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (1230) Bad night (9012)
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  (914): View more from New York

  she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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  (914): she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it" http://tfl.nu/fy2z
  Replies (41) Good night (14037) Bad night (1686)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey

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  (859): i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey http://tfl.nu/w11j
  Replies (6) Good night (3211) Bad night (944)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (1108)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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  (850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3559) Bad night (1050)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?

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  (415): Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me? http://tfl.nu/ppme
  Replies (8) Good night (2096) Bad night (711)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3255) Bad night (1256)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

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  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (548)
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  (+81): View more from

  And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.

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  (+81): And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through. http://tfl.nu/ei8m
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (384)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?

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  (913): How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex? http://tfl.nu/1k3m
  Replies (0) Good night (639) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me

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  (914): All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me http://tfl.nu/g4wr
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (337)

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