bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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