this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell