Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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