No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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