My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
