Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
