i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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