she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't turn off my feet"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
