ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
