I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
