You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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