She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
