I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
