i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
