dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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