I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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