New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
