im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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