SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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