3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
