im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
