What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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