How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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