just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
