Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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