i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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