is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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