Me too!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
