dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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