forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
