You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
