she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
