there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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