do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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