You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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