just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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