: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
