Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
