Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
