this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
