I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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