Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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