how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
