They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
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I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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