just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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