Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize