Plan B is the new Plan A
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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