Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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