Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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