So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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