Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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