thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
