Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
