You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
