Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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