Someone shit on the floor
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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