I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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