It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
