im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
