i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
